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Anything we said six or eight months ago is
inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and
void after seven days.
If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret
girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If we say something that can be interpreted in two
ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant
the other way.
It is in neither your best interest nor ours to make us
take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.
Let us oogle. If we don't look at other women how
can we know how pretty you are?
Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to
come out.
You can either ask us to do something OR tell us
how you want it done -- not both.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to
say during commercials or time-outs.
Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and
neither do we.
Women who wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses
lose their right to complain about having their chest stared at.
When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing
onto the ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.
Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
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